Wednesday, February 27, 2008

The most disturbing aspect of aging?

The obsession with Fleetwood Mac.

Saturday, February 23, 2008

honoring a reader request

Yoo Jin is a millionaire, Paul is a priest.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

dr. ken, driving me home, 10:26pm

“Chevo wasn’t my first, but he was the first guy that fucked me. That whole semester we’d drink over at my place. Just drinking, not fooling around. First thing, he’d always take off his shirt, it was hot, Guadalajara is the tropics you know. Then one night we each drank a sixpack of Carta Blanca...The girl sitting next to me at the restaurant? I wasn’t paying attention. See, you have to fixate on twat now, because my sexuality threatens you...I’ll tell you this, Chevo may have his flatscreen TV’s and his pediatrician wife, but he will never forget me. HE WILL NEVER FORGET ME.”

(Through the windshield, the moon in eclipse is as brown as a spider’s egg.)

Monday, February 18, 2008

ask an odeon waiter

AE reports that his last table last night was Jean-Luc Picard. With William T. Riker! Both were drinking Johnny Walker Blacks on the rocks, prolifically, and both ordered the wiener schnitzel. There was only one schnitzel left and the Captain deferred to the Commander. AE’s only regret: not having the nerve to say “I’ll make it so.”

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Diana = Di-vorced

Also, looking forward to the Dave and V. reunion tonight. Dave will get to meet V.'s new boyfriend.

Friday, February 15, 2008

The Chinese alarm clock is already broken.

That makes four stopped timepieces in the apartment in just the last two weeks.

My mother gave me a bottle opener Saturday. Saturday night the keychain bottle-opener I’ve been using for eight-plus years finally snapped and broke.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

sommelier, lower east side, 11:42pm

I was a teen star in Italy growing up. I hated it. People staring at you when you’re out. And always I had the worst fans. The girl with one leg. That was my fan. “Hey, Guido, guess who is here for you!” And the girl who called. My grandfather and I have the same name. She call his house. She get my grandmother. My grandmother says, oh yes, here is his number. Then the girl call all the time. What is your favorite movie? she wants to know. What is your favorite drink? At 7am!

Monday, February 11, 2008

there's just something karmically monstrous

about a Chinese alarm clock that costs 99 cents.

Friday, February 8, 2008

at the cat power show

The girl's hair smelled of cinnamon and suddenly I was nineteen and cutting through the Cumberland Gap, gas stop 3am, eating apple turnovers off of waxed paper and feeling very tired and also free.

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Saw 4 months, 3 weeks and 2 days last night

And I now feel qualified to perform an abortion.

Not the best date flick, however.