some hotshot

Thanks, Nick.

editor, 2:17pm

"I was managing this club right around the corner from you. It didn't last, the owner ended up leaving the country and taking all the investors' money with him. When we were first getting it together he said he wanted to make the basement lounge an exact replica of the room from Scarface. His designer couldn't figure out how to do it so I got this friend of mine and she did it, an exact replica of the room from Scarface. Then it turned out he didn't want it for the club at all, he just wanted his own private coke den. I mean, how ghetto is that? I should have known right then."

latest

happy birthday johanna

happy solstice

Sunset (on Mars)

Also, thanks to the Boston Globe, I've just learned that Mars has a really butt-ugly moon.

I can't believe I'm ruled by this crappy planet.

Also they have clouds.

best internet hoax of the year

Piyush "Bobby" Jindal is the Republican governor of Louisiana? LOL!!

deli line, cellphone conversation, 1:52pm

"He’s totally amazing in bed. He’s not my type, he’s like this little Irish dude. But then. He’s totally rocking my world. And I’m Cuban. It takes a lot of man to rock my world. It’s almost too much. Now I’m just, like, wandering around Avenue A in a bandanna and dark glasses. I almost feel like calling him and telling him, you know what, it was a nice week, but I can’t see you anymore. But he’s a psychologist and I know he’ll totally be like 'you’re retarded.' "

the boss's house

free & dirt cheap part 7

Wrapping up your summer 08 recommendations:

King Khan at the South Street Seaport, free show, Friday, June 27th (listen...listen).


Free Thursday nights at the New Museum, 235 Bowery, regular admission $12, free Thursday nights from 7 to 10pm.


Free Water Taxi rides to (and from) Red Hook! Thanks, Ikea!

free & dirt cheap part 6

For staycations, Governors Island is pretty hard to beat. This abandoned military base with peerless Manhattan and New York Harbor views is totally accessible by a short, free ferry ride from downtown. It's great for touring, picnicking, and now music as well. There are two big festivals (Folks on the Island and In the Pocket: New World Music in July and August), and there's also an art installation, and a major arts fest the last weekend of June. Sure beats having to fill up the car with a tank of $5 gas.

The ferry leaves from lower Manhattan every hour on the hour from 10am to 3pm on Fridays and from 10am to 5pm on Saturdays and Sundays in June, July, and August. During these same months, rangers give 90-minute tours (leaving Manhattan at 10am and 1pm) of the northern half of the island, on Wednesdays and Thursdays. Additional ranger-led tours run on the weekends. Battery Maritime Building, 10 South St., between Broad and Whitehall sts. 212/440-2202. Subway: R/W to Whitehall St.; 1 to South Ferry.

free & dirt cheap part 5

I took my own advice and tried out the virtual Shakespeare in the Park line and on only my second stab scored free seats (went last night and had a lovely time and recommend it highly to everyone but Big City Mom, who was told it was totally free and easy and replied, "Yeah, but it's still Shakespeare in the Park, right?") Perhaps the B.C.M. has more of an interest in film--the free summer movie season is upon us, with flicks at Bryant Park, Central Park, the Brooklyn Bridge, Socrates Sculpture Park, Prospect Park, Habana Eatery, the Hudson piers, and Solar One. There's also a series at McCarrren Pool showing velvet-themed classics like Velvet Goldmine and Blue Velvet, although this is the last summer there, as the pool site is being converted into an actual pool for underserved local kids, thereby depriving hipsters of a campy place to hang out. Thanks a lot, parks department. Jerks.

Finally, a reminder that Rooftop Films has started its season, and although that one isn't free ($9 usually), the programming is great, and as I was reminded last night, there's nothing better than a summer evening out in New York.

free & dirt cheap part 4

You've probably already been tipped off to Olafur Eliasson's summer waterfalls, which are this year's attempt to recapture the Gates' lightning in a bottle. I have high hopes, but there's plenty more public art where that came from. I'm most excited about David Byrne's Playing the Building, which is his eccentric rigging of the Battery Maritime Building. You have until August 10 to check it out, Fridays through Sundays from noon to 6pm.

free & dirt cheap part 3

You probably already know about the River to River festival, which puts on a few dozen shows every summer along the Hudson and East River. They also put on New York's annual July 4th concert, which this year features Sonic Youth and a reunited Feelies*. All shows are free, but if you want to see Sonic Youth best be at your computer tomorrow, Thursday, June 12th. Log on to the R2R website, but make sure you're there at noon sharp when the tickets are released, because I doubt they'll last more than about 30 seconds.

*The last time I saw the Feelies was opening up for Husker Du at Lisner Auditorium in 1986, but they were really good then, so I feel safe recommending them.

free & dirt cheap con't.

The Public Theater is of course not the only summer Shakespeare in NYC. Care to guess how many free productions each New York summer sees? No. Guessing is annoying. Just tell us. I don't find it annoying. I find it kind of fun. Well, that's you. To a T. Fine. 8. The answer is 8. Eight free summer Shakespeares! Just 8? Okay, there's 9. But you irritated me so I thought I would cross you up. Jesus, the heat. I'm all punchy.

Here's your Shakespeares, on top of the Papp:

Shakespeare in the Park(ing) Lot Ludlow St., between Broome and Delancey sts. [tel] 212/877-0099. July–Aug Thurs–Sat 8pm. Subway: F to Delancey St.; J/M/Z to Essex St.

Boomerang Theatre Riverside, Central, and Prospect parks. [tel] 212/501‑4069.

Hudson Warehouse Soldiers' and Sailors' Monument, Riverside Park, 89th St. at Riverside Dr. [tel] 212/560-6579. Subway: 1 to 86th St., 2/3 to 96th St.

Inwood Shakespeare Festival Inwood Hill Park Peninsula, Isham St. at Seaman Ave. [tel] 917/918-0394. Subway: A to 207th St.; 1 to 215th St.

Piper Theatre Productions J.J. Bryne Park, 3rd St. at Fifth Ave., Park Slope, Brooklyn. [tel] 718/768-3195. Subway: F/M/R to 9^th St./Fourth Ave.

Shakespeare on the Hudson Clinton Cove, 55th St. at the Hudson. [tel] 212/757-0981. 1/A/B/C/D to 59th St./Columbus Circle.

New York Classical Theatre[tel] 212/252‑4531. Usually 3 plays per summer, no tickets or reservations required. June–Aug Thurs–Sun 7pm. Subway: B/C to 103rd St. Battery Park. Check website for showtimes. Subway: 4/5 to Bowling Green; R/W to Whitehall; 1 to South Ferry.

Your 9th bonus pick is http://dziecitheatre.org/, which can be found at the 6B Garden this Friday night, doing Makbet.

Admittedly, some of this stuff can be fairly marginal, but that Makbet looks freaky, and Castle Clinton is a great backdrop for the NYCT stuff. Big City Mom would be remiss to not at least stop by the Hudson Warehouse production. I of course will be paying cold hard cash for my next summer Shakespeare, but that's just 'cause I'm classy that way.

liveblogging the current temperature: 97.3 degrees

In the final stages of hypothermia, victims' clothes take on inordinate weight and they cast them off. I think I may have hypothermia.

nyc free & dirt cheap third edition

I am entering the homestretch with F&DC, hopeful that it won't be a Big Brown-style homestretch. I have found tons and tons of new stuff, and since summer is the high season for New York freebies, I'm going to spend this week giving away the store. Your first opportunity: Shakespeare in the Park without having to stand on line. This year they're not giving away seats downtown, so there's a "virtual line" in addition to the analog line outside the Delacorte. Yeah, it's probably a lottery-win/struck-by-lightning longshot, but there's no reason not to sign up and take a daily crack at it.

my dream from last night

Chefs, today I’d like to introduce you to some special guests. Lompy, Cronos, Feeple, and Tad. They’re koalas. These arboreal marsupials can be found in the coastal regions of Australia, and they’re herbivores. You’re going to spend the next three hours getting to know them a little better, and then you’ll return to Top Chef Kitchen for the Quickfire Challenge.

Cronos is sooo cute. I just want to take him home with me! He has thick gray fur, and little inverted thumbs on his back feet, and a bifurcated penis.

Right now I have a culinary boner for the opportunity to cook for these little guys. Eucalyptus reduction, maybe a eucalyptus sonréioux. With mango. And scallops. And tar.

Usually I cook for humans, you know. Not fucking koalas. But whatever, I’m the best chef here. I’ll cook them a eucalyptus soufflé they’ll remember for the rest of their pathetic fucking koala lives.

Welcome back, chefs. For your Quickfire Challenge, you’re going to kill, butcher, and cook these koalas for a group of school children visiting us from Australia, the Land Down Under. Oh, and another thing. We’ve padlocked the Top Chef pantry. The only ingredient you’ll be allowed is the gum currently being chewed by Chef Tom Colicchio. Now put down your knives. We want to see you euthanize these animals with your bare hands. Your time begins…now.

now i feel old

some days the particulars of my life seem almost tawdry